


My Life With You, 12 Things I Remember About Sonny Steelgrave

by Natashasolten



Category: Wiseguy
Genre: M/M, Poetry, Two Wiseguy Poems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-27
Updated: 2015-02-27
Packaged: 2018-03-15 13:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3448709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natashasolten/pseuds/Natashasolten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here are two poems I wrote in the Wiseguy universe about the love between Sonny and Vinnie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Life With You, 12 Things I Remember About Sonny Steelgrave

MY LIFE WITH YOU

 

While drinking gold together  
some ghost buys you a bottle of cheap champagne.  
He says he can fix the fights for you.

I drown in your black silk eyes  
every time you make dark promises.

I report back to my people, uneasy.  
You’re made of steel.  
I don’t think they can take you.  
I don’t think I will let them.

Secret glances full of shadows.  
Stolen touches.  
Moments of bargaining, of laughter  
drenched in one hundred dollar an ounce  
men’s cologne and nervous sweat.

Once my Rolex stopped at three o’clock.  
Stopped at the edge of time.  
And something rippled like white satin  
against the stars,  
against my skin.

Afraid it will fall too soon,  
afraid we cannot be  
just what we want to be  
in the end –  
we don’t talk about it.

I still feel that grave of panic,  
that rush of ecstasy that always followed  
our whiskey wild evenings.

Now I am wandering  
in your jukebox garden,  
in your gun-mirror night  
into your citydream covered in Armani and diamonds.

Now I am running  
to meet you  
on the roof of the Rialto  
to finally have that broken heart to heart.

Can you even remember now  
who was the mob-king  
and who was the cop  
and if we were ever really  
those people at all?

I never thought a guy who owns casinos  
and maybe even the moon  
could gaze for so long into my eyes without blinking.

You gave me trust  
instead of roses.

 

***

 

12 Things I Remember About Sonny Steelgrave

 

1\. That white tux…  
you bought it  
because I told you  
I liked it

2\. Tall candlelight  
turning your eyes gold  
while the Cat’s caught  
on the taut wire  
in your hands

3\. The way you  
kissed her  
as you  
met my eyes

4\. Telling me  
you never want to  
think of me  
again

5\. That quick look  
of raw pain  
stricken grimace  
and the table overturning  
on top of me

6\. The beauty of  
an autumn morning  
No sleep  
Running after you through fog  
down the golf course road

7\. Straddling me  
on the stage  
your quick punches  
numbing me  
making me  
yours

 

8\. Night in the old  
theatre  
The dampness from  
your mouth  
on the bottle  
we share

9\. Falling to your knees  
Your choked voice  
remembering  
Maria

10\. Like a devoted  
confession  
“Nights…”  
on the jukebox

11\. My inability to stop  
admiring  
your fire  
that burns brighter

12\. Telling me  
you  
loved  
me

**Author's Note:**

> Over the years I have written more poems than I can count in both fanfic, original genre and literary mainstream. As Natasha Solten my poems have been in dozens of zines. Under my real name, Wendy Rathbone, my poetry has won awards and been professionally published in more anthologies and magazines and webzines than I can count. I have a new poetry collection from Eldritch Press (March, 2015) of all new poems called "Turn Left at November." My omnibus poetry collection "Unearthly" (collecting seven previous out of print poetry books all together) is available for Kindle from Amazon.com.
> 
> I also write original male/male erotic romance books under the name Wendy Rathbone. If you like slash, you may be interested in "The Foundling Trilogy" ("The Foundling," "None Can Hold the Dark," "The Lostling") and "Letters to an Android" (all on Amazon.)
> 
> Of course I continue to write fanfic under the name Natasha Solten in several fandoms including Wiseguy, Hawaii Five-0 and others. Click on my author name above to go to my dashboard and see a list of fandoms and my stories. Thanks for reading!


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